Update talking to teacher

After my last post, we headed over to Matthew's Awana Games practice (about 2 blocks from Matthew's school)... While driving past the school Matthew noticed that his teacher's classroom light was still on... I asked him what would happen if we knocked, he told me she probably would answer, but when we went around the corner she was actually coming out of the class and going to her car...

I asked Matthew if he wanted me to talk to her... He told me yes please...

So we stopped and talked to her...

I told her "Matthew really can do the math problems that you are unable to get him to do in class..."

She questioned me about it, if I had watched him do it and if I had checked his work and if it was correct... I told her yes about all of the questions...  And told her that I didn't like him being called a liar when he wasn't able to do the problems again today at school.

She immediately started to talk down to him and asked him "why would you tell the principal that you had lied about being able to do the problems and about using the calculator..."

I was taken aback from the way that she was talking to him, but didn't really know what to say.

I told her that he had stated that he could only do them with no distractions & that I could relate, as I work best at work when it is all quiet around - wearing headphones most of the time in order to block out distractions.

She stated that maybe he needed noise cancelling headphones to wear in class. And I asked how his classmates would react to that - being sure that he would be teased. And she stated that they have a student that needs a wheelchair and some that needs glasses - perhaps Matthew just needs these headphones to work...

We left off that we would see what we could do to get him some headphones and give that a try.

(after talking to Matthew more he doesn't even want to try, knowing that his classmates would tease him about them to no end - "they already tease me about my ears sticking out - why would I want to have more teasing Mom?)

I left feeling a bit better, until I thought more about how she talked down to him about lying and such in front of me - and really wondered what goes on when I am not there to hear how she talks to him...

Contemplating what to do next - but following Matthew's lead on what he would like to do.  I think formally requesting the 504 plan be in place and include an option to remove himself from the classroom to work on his work that requires more concentration should be the first thing that is addressed...  I will see how this week progresses and go from there...

Really?

Today in school Matthew's teacher didn't have him try to do math problems during the recess they made him stay in from because he lied about using the calculator for the math problems... Instead she chose to have him try the math problems at the end of the day while everyone was trying to get ready to go for the day.

When he got the problems wrong, she told him that "you can't do them, you must be lying to me..." (which is a slap in the face to me in a way because I was the one that vouched the he could do them - as we have witnessed him doing them here at home with no problems).  Matthew replied to her telling her that he could really do them, but needed absolute silence in order to concentrate on doing them.  And she told him back "well I guess I might have you stay in from recess to show me then..."

Really? My kiddo might lose a recess to prove a point about an email that I let them know that he was doing well in math at home?  REALLY?

This spurs my thought that we need to get the 504 plan going that will allow him to ask to work independently in a quiet place outside of the classroom or perhaps with headphones on in order to block out external stimuli or whatnot (it works for me at work...)

And also possibly requesting a different teacher for a fresh start to see if that makes a difference as well.

Why... Why... Why...

Matthew has been working on a fun math workbook for school and we have been working together on the pages, some of the stuff he already knew how to do, and other stuff he has needed a bit of guidance on how to do it. But what has stuck out to me is that he seems to be able to do some math problems in his head... Stuff that I need to write down on paper to do on my own...

287 x 312 - I would need to write down all the steps on paper to solve this myself, but Matthew can do them on his own in his head - if allowed a bit of time and a quiet area to do them.

At first I was skeptical, thinking he was using a calculator to do the work, but then I had him do a problem right in front of me with no option for a calculator to come into the equation. He did it and got the answer right! And he has done several more in front of me as well...  WITHOUT a calculator...

So having something good to report to the teacher, I emailed her to let her know of his new ability, and she seemed impressed wanting to have him show her how he does it at school. The first time she tried he did not have a quiet time to do it, and she reported mixed results. She said she would try again another time when it is quiet...  Would you think this would lead to a call from the school principal?  It did...  :(

My guess is that Matthew felt pressure to get the answers done quickly and he ended up using a calculator to do the problems. When the teacher asked him about it he denied it, and not until he was taken to the principal's office did he admit that he had cheated and lied about it...  The principal stated that they talked about it being wrong to cheat, and lying is even worse. I told him that I felt so horrible that I boasted about Matthew being good at doing something at home, and then it ended up him getting in trouble... To which he only responded, I don't know what he can do at home versus at school...

I told him thank you for letting me know (I don't know if he heard the sarcasm in my voice...)

Geesh... I can't seem to win...

I know that my child is doing better at home on this schoolwork... He is figuring out how to do these problems in his head & figuring out time concepts really well now.

What the heck is wrong with the classroom that he is unable to do them there? (I asked Matthew when he got home... he stated that is noisy and there is always stuff going on that distracts him)

He prompty got out his workbook and did another of the same type of problem right in front of me in his head...  :)