Update talking to teacher

After my last post, we headed over to Matthew's Awana Games practice (about 2 blocks from Matthew's school)... While driving past the school Matthew noticed that his teacher's classroom light was still on... I asked him what would happen if we knocked, he told me she probably would answer, but when we went around the corner she was actually coming out of the class and going to her car...

I asked Matthew if he wanted me to talk to her... He told me yes please...

So we stopped and talked to her...

I told her "Matthew really can do the math problems that you are unable to get him to do in class..."

She questioned me about it, if I had watched him do it and if I had checked his work and if it was correct... I told her yes about all of the questions...  And told her that I didn't like him being called a liar when he wasn't able to do the problems again today at school.

She immediately started to talk down to him and asked him "why would you tell the principal that you had lied about being able to do the problems and about using the calculator..."

I was taken aback from the way that she was talking to him, but didn't really know what to say.

I told her that he had stated that he could only do them with no distractions & that I could relate, as I work best at work when it is all quiet around - wearing headphones most of the time in order to block out distractions.

She stated that maybe he needed noise cancelling headphones to wear in class. And I asked how his classmates would react to that - being sure that he would be teased. And she stated that they have a student that needs a wheelchair and some that needs glasses - perhaps Matthew just needs these headphones to work...

We left off that we would see what we could do to get him some headphones and give that a try.

(after talking to Matthew more he doesn't even want to try, knowing that his classmates would tease him about them to no end - "they already tease me about my ears sticking out - why would I want to have more teasing Mom?)

I left feeling a bit better, until I thought more about how she talked down to him about lying and such in front of me - and really wondered what goes on when I am not there to hear how she talks to him...

Contemplating what to do next - but following Matthew's lead on what he would like to do.  I think formally requesting the 504 plan be in place and include an option to remove himself from the classroom to work on his work that requires more concentration should be the first thing that is addressed...  I will see how this week progresses and go from there...