Update talking to teacher

After my last post, we headed over to Matthew's Awana Games practice (about 2 blocks from Matthew's school)... While driving past the school Matthew noticed that his teacher's classroom light was still on... I asked him what would happen if we knocked, he told me she probably would answer, but when we went around the corner she was actually coming out of the class and going to her car...

I asked Matthew if he wanted me to talk to her... He told me yes please...

So we stopped and talked to her...

I told her "Matthew really can do the math problems that you are unable to get him to do in class..."

She questioned me about it, if I had watched him do it and if I had checked his work and if it was correct... I told her yes about all of the questions...  And told her that I didn't like him being called a liar when he wasn't able to do the problems again today at school.

She immediately started to talk down to him and asked him "why would you tell the principal that you had lied about being able to do the problems and about using the calculator..."

I was taken aback from the way that she was talking to him, but didn't really know what to say.

I told her that he had stated that he could only do them with no distractions & that I could relate, as I work best at work when it is all quiet around - wearing headphones most of the time in order to block out distractions.

She stated that maybe he needed noise cancelling headphones to wear in class. And I asked how his classmates would react to that - being sure that he would be teased. And she stated that they have a student that needs a wheelchair and some that needs glasses - perhaps Matthew just needs these headphones to work...

We left off that we would see what we could do to get him some headphones and give that a try.

(after talking to Matthew more he doesn't even want to try, knowing that his classmates would tease him about them to no end - "they already tease me about my ears sticking out - why would I want to have more teasing Mom?)

I left feeling a bit better, until I thought more about how she talked down to him about lying and such in front of me - and really wondered what goes on when I am not there to hear how she talks to him...

Contemplating what to do next - but following Matthew's lead on what he would like to do.  I think formally requesting the 504 plan be in place and include an option to remove himself from the classroom to work on his work that requires more concentration should be the first thing that is addressed...  I will see how this week progresses and go from there...

Really?

Today in school Matthew's teacher didn't have him try to do math problems during the recess they made him stay in from because he lied about using the calculator for the math problems... Instead she chose to have him try the math problems at the end of the day while everyone was trying to get ready to go for the day.

When he got the problems wrong, she told him that "you can't do them, you must be lying to me..." (which is a slap in the face to me in a way because I was the one that vouched the he could do them - as we have witnessed him doing them here at home with no problems).  Matthew replied to her telling her that he could really do them, but needed absolute silence in order to concentrate on doing them.  And she told him back "well I guess I might have you stay in from recess to show me then..."

Really? My kiddo might lose a recess to prove a point about an email that I let them know that he was doing well in math at home?  REALLY?

This spurs my thought that we need to get the 504 plan going that will allow him to ask to work independently in a quiet place outside of the classroom or perhaps with headphones on in order to block out external stimuli or whatnot (it works for me at work...)

And also possibly requesting a different teacher for a fresh start to see if that makes a difference as well.

Why... Why... Why...

Matthew has been working on a fun math workbook for school and we have been working together on the pages, some of the stuff he already knew how to do, and other stuff he has needed a bit of guidance on how to do it. But what has stuck out to me is that he seems to be able to do some math problems in his head... Stuff that I need to write down on paper to do on my own...

287 x 312 - I would need to write down all the steps on paper to solve this myself, but Matthew can do them on his own in his head - if allowed a bit of time and a quiet area to do them.

At first I was skeptical, thinking he was using a calculator to do the work, but then I had him do a problem right in front of me with no option for a calculator to come into the equation. He did it and got the answer right! And he has done several more in front of me as well...  WITHOUT a calculator...

So having something good to report to the teacher, I emailed her to let her know of his new ability, and she seemed impressed wanting to have him show her how he does it at school. The first time she tried he did not have a quiet time to do it, and she reported mixed results. She said she would try again another time when it is quiet...  Would you think this would lead to a call from the school principal?  It did...  :(

My guess is that Matthew felt pressure to get the answers done quickly and he ended up using a calculator to do the problems. When the teacher asked him about it he denied it, and not until he was taken to the principal's office did he admit that he had cheated and lied about it...  The principal stated that they talked about it being wrong to cheat, and lying is even worse. I told him that I felt so horrible that I boasted about Matthew being good at doing something at home, and then it ended up him getting in trouble... To which he only responded, I don't know what he can do at home versus at school...

I told him thank you for letting me know (I don't know if he heard the sarcasm in my voice...)

Geesh... I can't seem to win...

I know that my child is doing better at home on this schoolwork... He is figuring out how to do these problems in his head & figuring out time concepts really well now.

What the heck is wrong with the classroom that he is unable to do them there? (I asked Matthew when he got home... he stated that is noisy and there is always stuff going on that distracts him)

He prompty got out his workbook and did another of the same type of problem right in front of me in his head...  :)

Learning more

I am still around, been a bit confused lately, as we let Matthew have wheat over the weekend (since it was a long one) to see how he reacted to it - and we didn't see a reaction. Then we tried milk and didn't see a reaction either. So I am confused...

He is still choosing to eat the gluten free alternatives for the most part, so just reducing the amount of wheat he has in his diet is making him feel a bit better - which I understand from having eliminated wheat from my diet myself 6 months ago.

He is having a good week, getting some 3's on his behavior chart at school from his teacher, which is a great thing - he is happy with that, and hopefully his teacher is as well... :)  He was proud of himself to come home with a prize from the treasure box at the counselor's office - his positive reinforcement for the behavior plan in place at school.

I listened to a webinar today by Russell Barkley (a renound expert on ADHD) - and learned a lot... Here's my take away from the webinar...

• A person with ADHD has a disability in their executive functioning - Executive function is a set of mental processes that helps connect past experience with present action. People use it to perform activities such as planning, organizing, strategizing, paying attention to and remembering details, and managing time and space.
• This includes:
• the inability to monitor their own behavior
• the ability to stop yourself from doing wrong
• problems with their working memory - what you are doing and what your plan was to get it done
• skewed sense of time and the management of it
• problems controlling emotions
• It is not the child's fault - these things going on are out of their control, it isn't caused by too much tv, or too much sugar or a type of food, or bad parenting - it is usually genetic
• There is a 30% lag in their development of their executive functioning... So our son is 10 years old, so he has the executive functioning of a 7 year old. Remembering that can help him succeed
• There is a need for immediate praise or redirection - no warnings. He lacks the self regulation to keep himself motivated to keep moving on things (chores, homework, classwork and the like - unless it is something he is really interested in)
• consequences should happen right away -weather good or bad - earning a priviledge for the good, or losing one for the bad
• Their fuel tank of self control will be empty by the end of the day - need to use strategies to help them refuel to work on things in the evening.
• Maintenance of blood sugar is important, allowing him to sip on something with a bit of sugar in it to help with that is all good.
• Exercise is key for people with ADHD - 30 minutes 3-5 times a week
• When working on projects, schoolwork or whatnot using a 10/3 intervals of time works best to allow for breaks.

That was a lot of information to take in & I am looking forward to going back and listening to some of the previous webinars they have had as well to learn even more!  http://www.additudemag.com/webinars

My biggest take-away from this is that it isn't his fault & asking him "why?" he did something and getting a "I don't know" can truly be his only true answer - that he really doesn't know because he wasn't processing what he was doing at that time...

We used a timer like this and set it for 10 minutes of "work" and 3 minutes of  "rest" for
 him to do his time on his learning games on the computer

We downloaded an interval timer on a cell phone that he uses just for the apps/games and he is using it to work on some online software that works on math and reading skills & it is going pretty well - the most interested and calm I have seen him work on stuff like this in a long time!

Another challenge

Today I started out the day talking to the school about my frustrations from Friday- about his recess being taken away & how important I thought recess was for him.

She wanted to know about how the Dr appt went and if there has been any more activity since then.  I told her that he was diagnosed with ADHD, and we were exploring non-medication methods of treatment (not elaborating what they were) and that we had seen great improvements at home.  She commented that he doesn't have all sorts of negative influences that challenge him at home. And that he keeps interacting more with boys in his class that he has been having problems with. That it is a two way street, and if he would stop egging them on (making faces at them and such) that they might stop picking on him back. I stated that it didn't sound like Matthew was all to blame about it.

I shared a point that Mike reminded me that the Dr had made... The Dr stated that usually you don't hear much positive input back from the school from treatment, because the school always seems to be looking for the negatives, rather than the positives...  She was taken aback by that comment and asked me if I really thought that about their school... I told her I did, I rarely hear about any improvements he is making - only one tidbit of a story sharing two nice things he had done in class a few weeks ago... no feedback on his academics at all...  She stated that she would check with the teacher about that and try to get her to provide more feedback.

I said that it was discouraging because we have seen so many positive changes at home and we don't hear anything good from the school.

She said that there were a lot of things that are hard to change when they have been habits. Like always egging on other kids in his class when he is up walking around in the class...  I brought up the possibility of a fresh start being good for him & she agreed, stating that she had been thinking about that idea for Matthew over the weekend as well... (which I found sweet in a way)  I told her that it may be just the thing Matthew needs to get past this problem.  She asked me if I was serious about wanting to change, and I stated yes, and she said that she would get the ball rolling to discuss it with the principal and the counselor, as the principal is the one that makes that sort of decision and the counselor should definitely be involved as well...

I told her that sounded great & wanted to clarify that we were not trying to do it to change teachers, just the student set that he is in class with... She understood...

We talked more about recess & I let her know that I was confident that he would make good choices at recess and that he had asked to be able to have recess because he wanted the exercise he could get from running around... She told me she would let him have the chance today...

I felt pretty good about the whole conversation...

Until hours later when I got the email that stated that he got a referral at that recess that I had fought for her to allow him to have...

The referral stated that Matthew threw dirt into another student's mouth... Which that by itself sounds pretty bad... Until I talked to Matthew and learned the rest of the story...

There were several other kids involved and others threw dirt as well - and Matthew was not the one that started it... No, that doesn't make it right, but it is a different story than was portrayed on his referral form...  This frustrates me...  As do many things... but one battle a time I guess...

He is back in at second recess, until a conference can be had with us (his parents) and the parties involved at the school.  Hoping to be able to resolve that this week and hopefully address the classroom change at the same time.

Oh for a crystal ball to see into the future and see if this the answer we need to help him succeed.

My plan for now is to try to move forward with the classroom change for him and to work through some workbooks on behavior modification (made out for ADHD kids) and see if we can help him learn to make better choices.

Frustrations at school

So Matthew hasn't had afternoon recess for 3 weeks now due to the vice principal stating that they didn't feel comfortable letting him go out to afternoon recess that he was a danger to himself and others.  This was following an incident that our son was playing tag with some other boys and accidentally (even they agree it was an accident) punched another kid in the nose when reaching to tag one of the boys...  They were all playing a bit on the rough side and it got out of hand...

With Matthew's great improvements at home, I requested he be given his afternoon recess back on Thursday... He did well on Thursday & then today & got called in to the office during his first recess because someone told on him that he had been calling names and making faces at them in class and at recess...  Matthew admitted to a few silly faces in class and to calling him names (they were both doing it back and forth to each other - and it was only saying stuff like "I don't hit girls..." not anything really bad)

But then it went on to someone saying that Matthew had flipped off another student on the way to recess.

Matthew denied it, and was told that she didn't want to talk to him as long as he was lying. And then I got an email (our standard form of communication) about what happened, stating that the student that reported this activity was very reliable...  And that all recesses were going to be taken away until we could meet to discuss this.

I responded telling them that I was frustrated because it is two steps forward and one step back, and he is doing so well at home, and let them know we would talk to Matthew about this and get back with them.

I met Matthew at the bus stop today and the first thing he said to me (without me saying ANYTHING) was "I didn't do it..."  He was referring to being accused of flipping someone off... He told me that he knows that is wrong and that he would get in trouble for it. He said that he was pretty sure the "gang" of boys that he feels like is watching him all the time in class and at recess put this other kid up to saying that he had flipped someone off to get him in trouble. He said that he was so frustrated that she wouldn't believe him that he cried...  (When Matthew cries, he is sincerely upset... so this is telltale that he was telling the truth)

We drafted another email to the school and let them know what Matthew told us and asked how they would like to handle making sure that Matthew feels safe from the "gang" of boys in his class and at recess & that we are upset about him losing recess over heresay about something.

I have no idea what sort of response we will get, but we are working hard on learning how to respond to things people say and do to him.

We were very proud of him when someone this week was teasing him about having a "girlfriend" - but his response was great - "no, she is my friend because our parents know each other..." (all the truth!)  I love that he didn't let what they said bother him, and he had something clever to say to them!

Here's hoping that they will be able to help him at the school level, and that we won't need to figure out the next level of people to talk to to help him be treated fairly and feel safe in school.

We are so proud of how much he has changed and how well he is adapting to what he needs to do to keep his brain happier (wheat and dairy free)...

Update

So the last two days have been rough, when the previous days had been pretty good with Matthew... I am trying to figure out if it is because he was running a fever last night and didn't feel well, or if dairy may be something else he is intolerant to. As he had cottage cheese yesterday morning (because I had bought some at the store after not having it for a long time because I don't eat it anymore - but I was seeking more things that Matthew could eat and liked...) and then he had a bowl of cereal (rice chex) this morning with a bunch of milk with it...

Yesterday he was very sensitive - like run to his room if anyone looked at him funny, as well as lashing out at others over silly things...

Today he was bawling, very, very upset on our way to go over to the local middle school for me to do a long walk while he and his sisters played around over there... He was bawling because his helmet wasn't on his handlebars to his bike where he had left it... It was the type of crying that you would expect if your puppy got lost, or your world ended... I felt so bad for him, and really, really want to figure out what the trigger was...  (While feeling bad for him, I kept worrying that we were having such a setback that we were going to have resort to meds...  which made me sad...  I hope we can figure out how to help with other things and we don't have to go that route.)

So I am here documenting it and we will try to keep him off of dairy for this week (he does fine if it is small amounts in cooked items and cheese - but it seems to be straight dairy - milk and cottage cheese that doesn't work well) and then let him try it again and see if it is a trigger. Otherwise I am missing something else that is different that would cause this...

One day at a time...

On a great note his blood test came back negative for celiac's disease. Which still leave us open for a gluten or some set of foods that he is intorant of, but way easier to manage than celiac's.

Oh, Amazon how I love thee...

I have been busy shopping on Amazon & loving the results...  I LOVE the great prices, quick shipping and reviews of books. The reviews of books and products are what makes Amazon the best for me... Seeing what other people have thought of a product I am considering is SOOO VALUABLE.

I have gotten this book already and can't wait to have time to read all of it - it talks about many ways to help the ADHD symptoms our children have. How to explore things that might be causing certain behaviors. I will fill in more as I read it more.

We were told to explore behavioral therapy for Matthew, so I started looking for books about that to see what we might be able to learn in and effort to help Matthew. (not to say that we won't take him to actual behavior therapy at some point)

These highly rated books (on amazon) two books are more of activity books that are supposed to walk him through problem solving strageties for everyday things he encounters...  I will report more on these when they arrive.

And one more that I ordered that is supposed to walk through different things that can be done to help him succeed in school.

I can't wait for all of these to arrive and to keep reading!

Pediatrician appointment

Today we went and saw Matthew's pediatrician for an evaluation for ADHD.

We started out with a cutie little nurse checking us in and taking Matthew's vitals and we mentioned that he had complained about blurred vision recently - and she did a quick vision check on him as well (which told us that we need to visit the optomitrist soon).  Somewhere in the talking with this gal, we mentioned to her that the school was who was inisting we come in for this evaluation appointment & she laughed and said "it's always the school..."  I thought this was funny...

We waited a bit and then the DR came in and she was very thankful for all of our completed paperwork that had been turned in last week & she really liked the notes/letters that the teacher and school counselor included as well... All of that information helped her a lot in getting a picture of what Matthew is like at school.

She then went on to ask lots of questions about how Matthew is at home with us, and what the issues were at school as we understood them. We talked a lot about that & we shared how the elimination of wheat has seemed to improve his symptoms of ADHD. She stated that there is not much scientific evidence that proves that elimination diets work for ADHD... I told her that we didn't care what science says - we know that Matthew is a different person without wheat.

She asked Matthew how he felt and what areas of concern he had as well. He shared the book that we had been reading and showed her the checklists inside of it that show how he feels.

She then went on to explain the results of the Vanderbuilt tests we took (we as parents, and then the teacher) - both tests showed that he has ADHD. She explained what that means - and the treatment options that different people choose. Some work with behavioral therapists, some choose to medicate their kids, and some choose other options.  She went into how medicines would work - she generally prescribes the stimulant type of medicine - Adderall or Concerta (I think) were the two that she mentioned. And that she starts children out at the lowest doses she can and then see how they react to them - watching for sleeplessness, weight loss, headaches, stomach aches and some other rarer side effects.  She also talked a lot about no medicine is a magic-cure - that the child still has to WANT to do what he needs to do in school - that the medicine just provides some stimulation in the brain where it is being a bit "lazy" and it helps the child focus on what needs to be done.

We talked about how he is feeling better being off of wheat products, and she asked us if we would like him to have a simple blood test for celiac disease. They look for antibodies to gluten in the bloodstream... She checked with another doctor to make sure that after 2 weeks of being off of wheat products that there would still be something there to look for (antibody wise).  Since we hadn't gone totally GLUTEN-FREE (only wheat free) they stated that a blood test would be valid at this point. So she put in orders for blood work.

She also stated that even if the blood tests come back negative for celiac disease, it doesn't mean that he doesn't have a gluten intolerance.

She told us she would call with the results in a few days. She gave us a letter to provide to the school stating that she had diagnosed him with ADHD and requesting them to start a 504 education plan to put in writing the accomodations that are needed in the classroom for him to succeed.  She also gave us a bunch of reading material to look at about ADHD. She said there really wasn't any follow up at this point, the ball was in our court on how we would like to proceed. We can keep seeing how well he does off of wheat and see if that makes enough of a difference for him to succeed, or in a week we may call her up and say we are ready to talk again about the option of using medicine to help provide the focus and such that he lacks.

So we left feeling good that we are in control - that it is our choice what to do to help our child succeed in life. For now we will provide the "diagnosis letter" to the school and see what that will prompt with them on getting a 504 plan in the works. And we will wait to hear back about the results of the blood tests and continue to support his wheat free diet.

Quiet car rides

Though my kids don't look like this and are older - this is a good analogy to how they have been on car rides together.

Before Matthew went wheat free car rides made me want to pull over and get out of the car until they figured out whatever they were bickering about at any given time. Matthew could not control his hands and Jenna over dramatized anything that Matthew did and mayhem ensued. 

In the last two weeks (since Matthew has gone wheat free) the kids have gone on a few car rides - a quick one to pick up Jenna from a friend's house, and a ride to Awana's last week. Today they had a lot of time in the car to go from school to goodwill, to the dentist, to my physical therapy appointment and then home - in total a few hours in the car...

You know what I notice in the car since Matthew has gone wheat free???  Drama free car rides... It is so pleasant - I go out of my way to praise them and point it out to both of them how well Matthew is doing...

It is the little things like this that all add up to more peaceful feelings all around.  :)

Learning to Slow Down

So we may have figured out that the elimination of wheat reduces Matthew's symptoms of having ADHD, but we still know that there are skills that he will need to refine to succeed in school with his classwork and his social interactions.

I did a bunch of searching on Amazon about books related to ADHD, reading the reviews left by other readers as well as articles on the internet that referenced a particular book.  Learning to Slow Down and Pay Attention - by Nadeau & Dixon.  Reviewers said that it was a great book for children in general, not just those with ADHD... So I was sold...  We just started reading it and got through a section that had Matthew check off things on a checklist of how he feels...

I thought it would be interesting to share those things here...  There are a lot of them...

At School

• It is hard to sit at my desk
• I forget to raise my hand
• I can't seem to keep my books and papers organized
• I often forget my assignments
• I have trouble getting started on my work in class
• My desk is usually a big mess
• I forget to hand in my homework
• Even when I try to listen, sometimes I start thinking about something else
• A lot of time I feel bored in class
• I'd like school a lot more if I could work on things I am interested in
• My handwriting is pretty messy
• I think I'm pretty smart when I get to do the things I like
• I think I've got a good imagination
• My teacher says I bother the other kids too much (though Matthew stated this has improved since going wheat free)
• Sometimes I get in trouble for talking in class

With other kids

• Sometimes I get angry at other kids and I start name-calling or even fighting
• My feelings are hurt very easily - more than other kids'
• Some of my friends are younger than I am
• I don't know why, but sometimes other kids don't want to play with me
• Sometimes kids pick on me and tease me
• I wish I had more friends
• Sometimes I feel sad and left out
• It's easy to be friends at first, but pretty soon they're not my friends anymore

About myself

• My life would be wonderful if there was no such thing as school
• I worry that I'm not as smart as other kids in reading or writing or math
• I want other kids to like me more
• Sometimes I think something is wrong with me, but I don't know what it is
• I wish I didn't get upset so easily
• I feel frustrated because my schoolwork takes so long
• I lose things and forget things, no matter how hard I try not to
• I hate it when people tease me
• Sometimes I feel different from the other kids - kind of left out
• I wish my parents and my teachers would notice more of the GOOD things about me!

At home

• I have lots of arguments with my brother or sister
• I always have trouble getting started on my homework
• I have lots of trouble getting up and ready for school on time
• I hate to be bugged about doing homework and chores
• My room is a big mess (but he noted it is much cleaner since going WF)
• I have trouble falling asleep at night
• I worry about school and sometimes get stomachaches and wish I could stay home

What I wish other people knew

• I don't lose or forget things on purpose
• I hate it when people tell me I am not trying
• Lots of the time it's really confusing to be me
• I don't mean to do things that get others kids mad at me
• I want my mom and dad to be proud of me

That was a long post - but it shares how Matthew feels about things at this point...

I will share more that we learn from the book as we go through it - it isn't all that long, but they suggest to break it up into parts...

Pizza night

I thought to take a picture, but we were too excited to stop for one...

Spark people Gluten free pizza dough We followed this recipe to use almond meal (the recipe states blanched almond flour, but we used almond meal and it came out OK.)

Jenna came home from a friend's house last night and quickly fell asleep because they had stayed up WAAAY too late on Friday night, so this morning she put in her request for pizza tonight. We have commercial pizzas in the freezer that we can cook up, but I have hesitated to do so since Matthew went wheat free. But tonight we made our own wheat free crust and pizza... It was pretty good...

The crust wasn't all fluffy or anything, and a bit crumbly in places, but it served it's purpose without being made of all of the stuff that commercial gluten free stuff has in it - tapioca starch, white rice flour and the like...

Dinner success :)

Finally an explanation of HOW gluten can cause ADHD symptoms

Best explanation I have found on how gluten can cause an inflammatory response in the body that mimics ADHD symptoms (follow the link to read)

An excerpt from the article: "After the digestive tract, the most commonly affected system to be affected by gluten is the nervous system. It is thought that ADHD can be caused by gluten in one of two ways.

The first area addresses the inflammatory changes gluten can cause. A gluten sensitive individual’s immune system responds to the protein gliadin. Unfortunately, that protein is similar in structure to other proteins present in the body, including those of the brain and nerve cells. A cross reactivity can occur where the immune system “confuses” proteins in the body for the protein gliadin. This is called cellular mimicry and the result is the body attacking its own tissues with inflammation resulting.

When inflammation happens in the brain and nervous system, a variety of symptoms can occur, including ADHD. Research shows us that patients with symptoms involving the nervous system suffer from digestive problems only 13% of the time. This is significant because mainstream medicine equates gluten sensitivity almost exclusively with digestive complaints. Please note, that even though most doctors will dismiss a gluten allergy/sensitivity if you don’t have any digestive issues, this is not true. You can have problems with gluten that show up in other parts of your body, not just the digestive track. Gluten can attack any organ: thyroid, gallbladder, nervous system, joints (arthritis), cellular membrane (multiple sclerosis), you name it."

This totally makes sense to me!

What is he eating?

So some may wonder what my 10 year old picky eater is eating now that we are going wheat free? (I will try to update this as we find more things to add to the list)

Breakfast - yogurt, rice chex, corn chex, kix cereal, oatmeal
Lunch at school - thin corn cakes with peanut butter on them, rolled up corn tortilla shell with lunch meat and cheese inside, tortilla chips and salsa and cheese (like a lunchable)
Snacks - potato chips, small apples, fruit leathers (made with real fruit), corn chips, cookies made with almond meal and ground flax seed, brownie made with coconut flour
Dinner - Hamburger patty (no bun) and home-fries  homemade chili and wheat free corn bread (homemade as well), corn tortilla tacos, pizza on gluten free crust

Yes, I realize there aren't very many fruits and veggies in there - but I am choosing one battle at a time - we will add in more of those as we go - but for now getting him to feel better mentally and physically is my priority!

An introduction

Matthew is 10, he is in 4th grade at a school of 850+ kids. He has had 25+ kids in his class every year that he has been in school. He is on a first name basis with the principal and vice principal of the school because he has gotten a lot of referral for misbehaving in his almost 5 years at the school.

This is the first year that a teacher has put her foot down and stated that there is something "wrong" with our son. He is not the same as other kids, and states that she thinks he has ADHD. 

This is the first year he was referred to the school counselor (they have ONE for the whole school) and he has worked with him and made great strides in helping him. They first worked on social skills - how to make friends - with another group of kids that he works with they worked on interacting with each other - so now Matthew has a group of friends to play with at recess.

Then they moved on to a behavioral plan where each day there is a rating sheet that Matthew fills out on how he think his day went and then the teacher does the same & Matthew earns stickers that equal a trip to the treasure chest to get a prize. The behavior chart has worked well, but the counselor met with us just over a week ago and stated they have done about all they can to help him, further help would be necessary to help him succeed. You need to take him to the pediatrician to be evaluated for ADHD and get him some medicine.

Um... OK we thought - we will take him to the pediatrician  but we are not agreeing to medicating him right away. We will see what she thinks...

We just recently had to fill out paperwork for the pediatrician to review in preparation for our evaluation next week. The teacher added a note that listed what she sees on a regular basis in class that are not good behaviors: "typical behaviors: talks during my instruction, has a hard time focusing and remaining on task, blurts out, goofs off, talks to students around him and distracts them by messing with the supply basket on the table. He does not finish his work, or takes much longer than the other students to do it. He has a hard time getting started and makes careless mistakes on assignments. His hands are on others during carpet time. Doesn't pay attention. Hums and makes extra noises, like rolling or tapping pencils. Talks in line, even after being reminded no to. Puts things in his mouth, such as pencils and magnets. I often have him work at the isolation desk, which helps. Even there, his hands are moving over the file cabinet and counter. Picks at other kids; for example: poking them, wiggling their desk, mimicking what they say, repeatedly pushing the recorder away from their mouth, and so forth. Gets in trouble often in the cafeteria or on the playground. Involved in fights. Has difficulty interacting appropriately with others his age. His behavior makes others prefer not to work or play with him. It also affects his academic success and the learning of others in the classroom."

(Wow that is a lot when I type it out like that - hard to read about your own child - and hard to think of what life is like for him, as he states that he doesn't know why he does what he does, and the counselor is sure that he doesn't mean to do any of it - that he truly feels out of control)

I have been grain free for almost six months. So I did some reading and my husband heard from some coworkers how elimination diets have worked for their children to help with ADHD symptoms. 9 days ago we talked to our son and asked him if he was willing to try going wheat free to help himself. He was on board & we did it we took him off wheat.

We have had to brainstorm a bunch to determine ideas for what he can take to school for lunch. Dinner has become a bit different around home, a few less choices because we haven't really stocked up on alternatives that he can have that match what Dad and sisters are having. But it doesn't matter. As it is working!

Matthew is happier, he feels more focused, he feels more in control of himself...  Did I mention he feels happier?  What more could a parent want?

It is a whole new atmosphere at home, it is calmer, quieter and just peaceful... We could get used to this. We are still struggling with his oldest sister nit-picking EVERYTHING he does, and he is very sensitive to this because he has worked hard at making improvements, yet she is still finding the bad in everything... I feel so bad for him when she does this and he ends up in his room feeling bad for himself that he can't do anything right in her eyes...  :(  But we are working on it.

Matthew's teacher has noticed a bit of difference, but I am pretty sure Matthew hasn't told her what we have changed. I kind of like it that way - as it would be interesting to see if they see improvements that they would expect if they think he started medication... 

I am amazed that we are not getting any resistance from Matthew on this change - which tells me that he truly sees the difference in himself and he likes it...  He tells me that he just feels better...

The cutest thing was last night when he admitted to having something at school that wasn't wheat-free... I inquired what it was and he stated "a cupcake - and it was delicious!"  I told him "I bet it was..."  Then we talked about how he felt after he had the cupcake - he said he could tell right away, that he lost focus again...  And I pointed out that it could be why he was feeling extra tired too...  I thanked him for letting me know about the slip-up, but it also helped us confirm that he may truly be intolerant to wheat...

Going to end this novel of a post for now, but leave you with a link that describes what ADHD is like for a child...

This link explains what ADHD is like for a child pretty well - while I am not sure I agree with the statements about HAVING to medicate a child diagnosed with ADHD - I really appreciate how she describes it.